Ross’ practice reveals an important truth about the experience and feeling of delight—delight can emerge from myriad types of moments in our days, including sorrow and loss. Delight can arise from the simple appreciation of the mundane that often goes unnoticed in our lives, such as hearing a song being played in public that draws us back to the delight of teenage prankstering. Delight can burst forth from the close observation of a mysterious creature, such as a praying mantis, which we might otherwise shoo away from our cafe table if our delight radar wasn’t turned on. Delight can emerge from dissecting the experience of racism in daily life as a person of color and extracting the optimistic possibility of progress from the subtle gestures of those around us. And, most importantly in the upturning of our world in recent days, weeks, and months, delight can also be found in the joining of our sorrows—maybe the true essence of joy, as Ross ponders.
In fact, in my own experience writing about really difficult experiences from a delight point of view, I have grappled with the true complexities of life, turning toward with inquisitiveness rather than away with fear. In turning on my own delight radar, I have found my mind inhabiting the gray area between good and bad, left and right—the middle way as Pema Chodron writes in When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (another valuable thinker for stressful times).
Looking for a delight perspective on our observations and experiences can be instructive. Ross does not provide a formula to follow. There are no rules to writing a delight essayette. In fact, the object of Ross’ delights are a wild variety of moments from his days. For instance, a flower (was it a lily or an iris?) painted on the jeans of a passerby while shopping for second hand sweatpants draws Ross into the deep delight of pushing, drowning his face in the blooming lilies in his garden each spring (watch his reading of this entry above). Ross’ delights give us all permission to notice and wonder about the ordinary, everyday preciousness in the world around us and allow those wonderings to bring forth reflections, memories, and ponderings, as simple or complex as the delight demands.
What is beautiful about writing delight essayettes, regularly, is that there are no rules, no judgment, no form to follow. A delight can be captured in one sentence or require several pages to explore. A delight can be purely observational or deeply philosophical. Delights reveal the uniqueness of our points of view and the underground web that connects us all to the human experience. Delight is a feeling, it is personal, ephemeral, and in community with our past selves and the world around us. If you are curious, I strongly suggest finding a copy of Ross Gay’s Book of Delights. You may even find some of his entries important to share with your students. In fact, offering students the Ross Gay delight essayette approach to noticing, wading into, and exploring different moments from life could be an antidote to the sorrow and loss they are experiencing around them.
If you want to hear Ross himself, check out these different podcasts and videos:
On Being Podcast episode with Ross Gay: https://onbeing.org/programs/ross-gay-tending-joy-and-practicing-delight/
A Ross Gay Delight entry “Lily on the Pants”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqFyi5BXEJw